With today being All Hallow's Eve, people tend to get a little crazy. Which is fine, everyone needs to blow off some steam and deserves to have a little fun in costume once in a while. As I've said before I'm all for girls putting on as little as legally possible and running around in public.
However, without even leaving my apartment last night, the insanity found it's way in. My next door neighbors went out to a party and came back to continue the festivities at their place around 1am. Which was fine they were obviously highly inebriated at that point and made a serious amount of noise coming in. That was fine too, I wasn't in bed yet and had just finished a movie. By the time I did head to bed and get ready the festivities next door had quickly erupted into the stairwell. One of the patrons felt it necessary to take his girlfriend into stairwell to yell at her and berate her. As if that somehow meant that the people inside the apartment could no longer hear him yelling. At that point I'm fairly certain half the county could hear him. He continued escalating until I couldn't stand it anymore. I got dressed and decided to intervene. This girl had obviously done nothing wrong, but was being made to feel that way with every word that came out of his mouth. She was also being made to do so while in costume. Let's just say parts of it resembled a firefighter, kinda. "You're a stupid b****." "I hate you and never really loved you anyway." "Why don't you listen to me?" "Do you see what YOU are causing?" Since obviously none of it was his fault. I don't know what started the argument. But I went out to put a stop to it. After I came out, in typical victim fashion she defended him, and how it wasn't his fault. I told her how she didn't deserve to be treated like that, and how he wasn't worth it, but she stood there and defended him. Then got chastised for it in the process by him.
The behavior on the guys part was obviously irreprehensible. There was no excuse for it, not justifying it, but there she was walking off and defending him anyway. Finally she left him and he started to leave. Not a few minutes later she was back down in what was an attempt to regain some dignity and tell him off. However, this quickly backfired on her, as her girlfriends in the party offered no physical or moral support, and she decided to confront the guy in front of his 3 buddies, thus he had to macho it up further to save face. He regained the upper hand the way those arguments always seem to go, and eventually verbally bullied her into the car. Where it was apparent she didn't want to be, but felt she had no other recourse.
This is a situation that happens far to often and as a guy I apologize on behalf of my gender to those who have to be the victims of it. No one should have to be treated like that. Now or ever. It's horrible that this kind of things happens, and like this incident far to often goes completely unreported. Even if that girl does get the courage to end things with him at some point. The scars of last night will echo long after he's gone. Those are the things we all carry around, and some other guy is going to have to deal with that pain he inflicted. Hopefully her choice in guys improves, but I have a feeling that unfortunately there's more of that same guy in the future.
To wrap this portion of the program up all I can do is hope for a few things. 1) That girl realizes sooner rather than later, that he's not worth it. 2) That her friends see that she needs help, support, and get it for her. 3) That somehow someway this plea finds a way to reach her or them. 4) That women who do read this don't allow a guy to do that to you. 5) If it does happen, say something, to someone. The help is there, you're not wrong and you have nothing to be ashamed of. He does. So help yourselves and help stop that insanity from happening.
Onto other things that seem to fit the headline. Last night I read this article. http://www.popeater.com/2010/10/28/how-much-do-teen-mom-stars-make/?ncid=webmail
It hits on a topic I had discussed with a few people last week. Dr. Drew Pinsky, of LoveLine fame, started this show to illustrate a problem that this country has. One that far to often gets ignored or glossed over. Teenage pregnancy. Obviously it's a "Reality" show, aired through his long term partnership with the people at no longer Music TeleVision. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's called "16 and Pregnant." From the pieces of it I've seen it for the most part does the job it was set out to do. Shows the perils and life changes these girls go through because they got pregnant before they graduated high school. Usually by guys with no education, no way to support them or the child. The over all message is definitely "Don't let this happen to you."
However, that message is getting blurred by the "celebritization" and exploitation of these girls. Not only are they paid $60,000 a year to do the show, but on top of that there's the money they get by allowing their faces to be plastered all over the supermarket tabloids in the process. $60,000. That's more than most teachers, as much as Police Officers, and Firefighters get for jobs that actually contribute to society. Are our priorities that far off? Have they done ANYTHING to deserve that other than get pregnant and fail to graduate High School? Should we REALLY be rewarding this behavior? Maybe it's just me and my cynicism. But some girl somewhere is going to see this and think that these girls getting pregnant is a good thing. She's going to think that she can be next, that it's her ticket to fortune and fame.
Granted it may be a girl who was already a fairly high risk for this situation to happen already. But it certainly adds encouragement where it's not needed. I don't know how many minds this show it changing. I would hope that good parenting can convince kids that it's not something they should be doing. I'm sure in most cases it does. However, I'm also more and more convinced that good parents are an endangered species. They're becoming as rare as long term successful marriages.
My concern is for the girls who get the added kick they needed to want to get pregnant before getting a High School diploma. My concern is for the girls who are in the middle, who maybe wouldn't have had sex or gotten pregnant before, but now see this and the money they get for doing so, and think "Maybe this isn't so bad after all." Television and shows like this carry a profound impact. If you don't believe me take a walk out tonight and count the number of "Snooki", "The Situation." and "Lady Gaga" costumes. Sure most of them are going to be in jest, but the actions they have work their way into society when we're not paying attention. So I ask that parents talk to their kids about these things. Turn the tube off, take away their cell phones, shut down their laptops, and have a conversation. It just may be the thing that changes their life, because as large an impact as TV has, it's can be overcome by the parent. If they're not to busy to do so.
This show and every other "Reality" show like it have become a plague. They've taken over the airwaves until we're hard pressed to find anything else on. Personally I refer to them as "Television for the illiterate." Often depicting the worst in people and society has to offer. They make people feel better about themselves who watch it. My question is, if we feel so bad about ourselves that we NEED these shows around to make us feel better about our lives, isn't there a bigger issue? Television networks air these things because they're dirt cheap to make and the ratings for them are through the roof. Meaning they can jack up what they charge the advertisers to show commercials during the show, and increase their profit margin in the process. Should we really be helping TV execs who already make 10's to 100's of MILLIONS pad their bottom line? We should demand better. If we're going to watch it, we should have standards and demand it actually has some kind of content. Not just gluttonous voyeurism to boost our own egos. So stop the insanity, and read a book.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Exhibit This
Greetings Gouls and Goblins. Since I'm currently suffering under the weight of writers block I figured I'd get this pre-weekend entry in and use it for shameless plugs instead. Maybe they'll stem the tide and break through the block. The juices just weren't flowing last night. I considered writing about the mid-term elections. But those have been covers 10 ways til Sunday by every news network out there. Plus here in Washington there's not even polls to go to anymore since it's all done by mail. Hopefully those of you reading who can vote did.
Halloween is this weekend obviously, but there's not much that can be added to that either. Plus who doesn't like a weekend where girls break out the smallest things in their closet, then wear them in public. So I'm all for that.
For those of you not inclined to be dressing up this weekend, there are a few other things going on. If you're in the Bellingham area and into some quality art there's a quick drive down to Seattle to check out the Picasso exhibit at SAM. http://www.seattleartmuseum.org/exhibit/exhibitDetail.asp?eventID=18788
If you're looking to get your geek on there's the BSG exhibit over at EMP/SFM. This is one that I fully intend on checking out. For those of you unfamiliar with the acronym. BSG is Battlestar Galactica. A show that originally aired in 1978-79. It was brought back in 2004 on the Syfy channel then this new version ran for 4 seasons. If you didn't see the show when it aired. YOU SHOULD. It may seem to geeky as most Sci-Fi genre shows are, but it's well written and the characters are well developed. It's completely worth adding to your Netflix, and more so if you have the Blu-Ray option. It'll blow your frakin' mind hole. The exhibit started a couple of weeks ago, and has not one but THREE full size ships from the show. Now who wouldn't want some pics of that on their Facebook. If you say you don't, you either don't know what fun is, or are lying. So unleash your geek and check it out.
http://www.empsfm.org/exhibitions/index.asp?articleID=1491
Halloween is this weekend obviously, but there's not much that can be added to that either. Plus who doesn't like a weekend where girls break out the smallest things in their closet, then wear them in public. So I'm all for that.
For those of you not inclined to be dressing up this weekend, there are a few other things going on. If you're in the Bellingham area and into some quality art there's a quick drive down to Seattle to check out the Picasso exhibit at SAM. http://www.seattleartmuseum.org/exhibit/exhibitDetail.asp?eventID=18788
If you're looking to get your geek on there's the BSG exhibit over at EMP/SFM. This is one that I fully intend on checking out. For those of you unfamiliar with the acronym. BSG is Battlestar Galactica. A show that originally aired in 1978-79. It was brought back in 2004 on the Syfy channel then this new version ran for 4 seasons. If you didn't see the show when it aired. YOU SHOULD. It may seem to geeky as most Sci-Fi genre shows are, but it's well written and the characters are well developed. It's completely worth adding to your Netflix, and more so if you have the Blu-Ray option. It'll blow your frakin' mind hole. The exhibit started a couple of weeks ago, and has not one but THREE full size ships from the show. Now who wouldn't want some pics of that on their Facebook. If you say you don't, you either don't know what fun is, or are lying. So unleash your geek and check it out.
http://www.empsfm.org/exhibitions/index.asp?articleID=1491
Thursday, October 28, 2010
“Music and rhythm find their way into the secret places of the soul” Plato
"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.”
Recently a friend of mine wrote a blog about the soundtrack to their life. That along with NPR's recent stories about music that we either inherited from our parents, or that drove our parents crazy in the process got me thinking about musics impact on my life. Music is everywhere, and part of our daily lives and routines in ways we may not even notice. All of us have a different relationship to it and it's something, I would think, is a deeply personal one. So we all approach it a different way. For some it's simply background noise. Something to break up the monotony of the sounds around us. Others simply listen to the instrumentation, the arrangement of the chords or the catchy hook that is stuck in your head all day long. Some get lost in the lyrics, finding a connection to the moment the writer is expressing or experiencing. Then there's those where it's a combination of all of those. For me it takes listening to a song several times before I fully understand it. It's like a puzzle that I have to completely dissect first, before reassembling it piece by piece.
The first time through I listen to the song as a whole. Finding similarities between it and the music catalog in my head. Similar hooks, chords, phrasing. Then I listen to it again. This time stripping it down in my head as if I have the sound board, focusing in on specific tracks within the song itself. The drummer: is he just keeping time, is he keeping it simple with the occasional fill, is he trying to hard and distracting from everything else, or is it the organized chaos of a Keith Moon. The bass line: is it steady, is it complimenting the drummer, solidifying the rhythm section, or is it Sting or McCartney making it the lead. Guitars: Is there a riff ala Joe Perry, is it one guitar or two, how well do they work together, do they compliment the lyrics, or do they make a melody all their own in the process. Finally I focus on the lyrics, making a connection to them before listening to the song one more time as a whole. Granted it's a very analytical way to approach it, but that's just how it's always worked in my head. I have to be able to understand it before I decide if I like it or not.
Music has always played a big role in my life. For my family it's the common ground. The place where we can all relate to one another. Dad plays guitar and sings with the church choir. Mom plays piano and sings barbershop. My sister started out on piano, added guitar, french horn, along with several others, and sings both in church and with her own band. Even became a Band Teacher and is already adding her kids to the family soundtrack. I started off playing Trumpet, moved to Trombone, added a little piano, sang a bit. I don't currently do any though I've been considering picking things back up recently after realizing the importance it has in my life.
My first memories of music's role in my life involve a sauce pan, a wooden spoon, John Williams and the Boston Pops, conducting with the big headphones on in front of the stereo. A little later on I can remember sitting and listening to my Dad playing on the guitar. Mostly it was Peter, Paul and Mary. Specifically "Puff the Magic Dragon" and "The Marvelous Toy". I also remember watching the various Peter, Paul and Mary concerts as well as John Williams and The Boston Pops with my parents on PBS. To this day those are still very fond memories. In my younger years my musical exposure was limited to what my parents listened to. So it was The Beach Boys, The Beatles, John Denver, Chicago, Tijuana Brass, Cream, Aretha Franklin, The Supremes, Temptations and Stevie Wonder. From those it expanded when in 1987 I was exposed to MTV. For those of you under 25, they used to actually play music not just shows that make you lose 50 IQ points by watching. I distinctly remember the first one I ever saw. The King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson, glittering glove and all. Shortly after that came Bruce Springsteen and the Born in the U.S.A. album and thanks to my friends, much to the pain of my parents ears, Van Halen. Followed by Bon Jovi, GNR, and Poison.
By the 90's the big hair was quickly replaced with flannel as Pearl Jam and Nirvana came into the picture via KISW 99.9 out of Seattle. Being a kid living in the Pacific Northwest it may have been different from other places. But grunge hit like an atomic bomb, changing the music culture overnight. Out went the big hair, in came the flannel, and combat boots. There probably wasn't a garage band anywhere that didn't have "Smells Like Teen Spirit" immediately added to their repitiore. Along came Soundgarden, Mudhoney, and Alice In Chains. Pearl Jam's Ten brought reinvigorated the music video as an art form. "Jeremy" truly had spoken and his voice was rock. Throughout this I continued expanding my eclectic tastes. Boyz II Men gave rebirth to Motown along with Prince. En Vogue and Babyface.
Also about this time I started playing Jazz. Discovering Miles Davis, Theloneous Monk, Gershwin, Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey, Louis Armstrong, Maynard Ferguson, Dizzy Gillespie, Doc Severenson, Branford and Wynton Marsalis, Frank Sinatra, and Harry Connick Jr. Later this also brought along Michael Buble
The mid 90's brought The Dave Matthews Band along with Hootie and the Blowfish. Goo Goo Dolls and re-juvinated Aerosmith. Singlehandedly starting the careers of Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler. After Joshua Tree, WAR, and The Unforgettable Fire, U2 triumphantly returned with Achtung Baby. During this time I also introduced myself to the classics. Classic Rock that is. Zeppelin, The Stones, Fleetwood Mac, Rush, and The Who. Partly due to a lack of choices on the radio dial, but also it was what I most identified with.
Since then I've grown along with the music itself. Going from CD's to MP3. Loving the portable MP3 player and the discovery of Napster. Then dying a little when the government shut it down. Eventually giving in to ITunes and an IPod. Finding Weezer, Bare Naked Ladies, and Ben Folds Five. Enjoying not only the music they make, but the tongue in cheek lyrical wordplay as well. Foo Fighters, Queens of the Stone Age and the evolution of Dave Grohl from drummer of Nirvana to frontman. John Mayer and the progression of both singer/songwriter as well as guitar virtuoso.
That basically brings us up through today. Those are the things that have made up the soundtrack to my life thus far. I still have a love for all things 60's Motown, an appreciation for the tight harmonies of The Beatles and The Beach Boys. The simplicity and elegance of a Lennon/McCartney song. The sheer complexity and organized chaos of Monk, Coletraine and Davis. Along with the pure unbridled energy The Stones still bring to the stage. I hope the music continues to expand as well as my appreciation for it.
How do you relate to music? What role does it have in your life? What artists have had an impact on you? I've already picked the topic, so discuss amongst yourselves. Though preferably do it right here.
Recently a friend of mine wrote a blog about the soundtrack to their life. That along with NPR's recent stories about music that we either inherited from our parents, or that drove our parents crazy in the process got me thinking about musics impact on my life. Music is everywhere, and part of our daily lives and routines in ways we may not even notice. All of us have a different relationship to it and it's something, I would think, is a deeply personal one. So we all approach it a different way. For some it's simply background noise. Something to break up the monotony of the sounds around us. Others simply listen to the instrumentation, the arrangement of the chords or the catchy hook that is stuck in your head all day long. Some get lost in the lyrics, finding a connection to the moment the writer is expressing or experiencing. Then there's those where it's a combination of all of those. For me it takes listening to a song several times before I fully understand it. It's like a puzzle that I have to completely dissect first, before reassembling it piece by piece.
The first time through I listen to the song as a whole. Finding similarities between it and the music catalog in my head. Similar hooks, chords, phrasing. Then I listen to it again. This time stripping it down in my head as if I have the sound board, focusing in on specific tracks within the song itself. The drummer: is he just keeping time, is he keeping it simple with the occasional fill, is he trying to hard and distracting from everything else, or is it the organized chaos of a Keith Moon. The bass line: is it steady, is it complimenting the drummer, solidifying the rhythm section, or is it Sting or McCartney making it the lead. Guitars: Is there a riff ala Joe Perry, is it one guitar or two, how well do they work together, do they compliment the lyrics, or do they make a melody all their own in the process. Finally I focus on the lyrics, making a connection to them before listening to the song one more time as a whole. Granted it's a very analytical way to approach it, but that's just how it's always worked in my head. I have to be able to understand it before I decide if I like it or not.
Music has always played a big role in my life. For my family it's the common ground. The place where we can all relate to one another. Dad plays guitar and sings with the church choir. Mom plays piano and sings barbershop. My sister started out on piano, added guitar, french horn, along with several others, and sings both in church and with her own band. Even became a Band Teacher and is already adding her kids to the family soundtrack. I started off playing Trumpet, moved to Trombone, added a little piano, sang a bit. I don't currently do any though I've been considering picking things back up recently after realizing the importance it has in my life.
My first memories of music's role in my life involve a sauce pan, a wooden spoon, John Williams and the Boston Pops, conducting with the big headphones on in front of the stereo. A little later on I can remember sitting and listening to my Dad playing on the guitar. Mostly it was Peter, Paul and Mary. Specifically "Puff the Magic Dragon" and "The Marvelous Toy". I also remember watching the various Peter, Paul and Mary concerts as well as John Williams and The Boston Pops with my parents on PBS. To this day those are still very fond memories. In my younger years my musical exposure was limited to what my parents listened to. So it was The Beach Boys, The Beatles, John Denver, Chicago, Tijuana Brass, Cream, Aretha Franklin, The Supremes, Temptations and Stevie Wonder. From those it expanded when in 1987 I was exposed to MTV. For those of you under 25, they used to actually play music not just shows that make you lose 50 IQ points by watching. I distinctly remember the first one I ever saw. The King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson, glittering glove and all. Shortly after that came Bruce Springsteen and the Born in the U.S.A. album and thanks to my friends, much to the pain of my parents ears, Van Halen. Followed by Bon Jovi, GNR, and Poison.
By the 90's the big hair was quickly replaced with flannel as Pearl Jam and Nirvana came into the picture via KISW 99.9 out of Seattle. Being a kid living in the Pacific Northwest it may have been different from other places. But grunge hit like an atomic bomb, changing the music culture overnight. Out went the big hair, in came the flannel, and combat boots. There probably wasn't a garage band anywhere that didn't have "Smells Like Teen Spirit" immediately added to their repitiore. Along came Soundgarden, Mudhoney, and Alice In Chains. Pearl Jam's Ten brought reinvigorated the music video as an art form. "Jeremy" truly had spoken and his voice was rock. Throughout this I continued expanding my eclectic tastes. Boyz II Men gave rebirth to Motown along with Prince. En Vogue and Babyface.
Also about this time I started playing Jazz. Discovering Miles Davis, Theloneous Monk, Gershwin, Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey, Louis Armstrong, Maynard Ferguson, Dizzy Gillespie, Doc Severenson, Branford and Wynton Marsalis, Frank Sinatra, and Harry Connick Jr. Later this also brought along Michael Buble
The mid 90's brought The Dave Matthews Band along with Hootie and the Blowfish. Goo Goo Dolls and re-juvinated Aerosmith. Singlehandedly starting the careers of Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler. After Joshua Tree, WAR, and The Unforgettable Fire, U2 triumphantly returned with Achtung Baby. During this time I also introduced myself to the classics. Classic Rock that is. Zeppelin, The Stones, Fleetwood Mac, Rush, and The Who. Partly due to a lack of choices on the radio dial, but also it was what I most identified with.
Since then I've grown along with the music itself. Going from CD's to MP3. Loving the portable MP3 player and the discovery of Napster. Then dying a little when the government shut it down. Eventually giving in to ITunes and an IPod. Finding Weezer, Bare Naked Ladies, and Ben Folds Five. Enjoying not only the music they make, but the tongue in cheek lyrical wordplay as well. Foo Fighters, Queens of the Stone Age and the evolution of Dave Grohl from drummer of Nirvana to frontman. John Mayer and the progression of both singer/songwriter as well as guitar virtuoso.
That basically brings us up through today. Those are the things that have made up the soundtrack to my life thus far. I still have a love for all things 60's Motown, an appreciation for the tight harmonies of The Beatles and The Beach Boys. The simplicity and elegance of a Lennon/McCartney song. The sheer complexity and organized chaos of Monk, Coletraine and Davis. Along with the pure unbridled energy The Stones still bring to the stage. I hope the music continues to expand as well as my appreciation for it.
How do you relate to music? What role does it have in your life? What artists have had an impact on you? I've already picked the topic, so discuss amongst yourselves. Though preferably do it right here.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Time To Fish Or Cut Bait.........
Greetings again blogosphere. I had originally planned to have this post continue with the introduction of myself to you my devoted non-existent readership. Instead, after talking with a couple of my friends I decided to delve into my first relationship related posting. As far as blogs go it may be weird for a guy to cover this kind of material. Relationships and feelings aren't something we willingly talk about most of the time. I'm not most guys. Though being able to talk about things like this, whether in my own relationships or others is also part of my reasoning behind the anonymity.
In talking with them, a couple of issues came to light. Though the root of them both was the same. It boiled down to the difficulty we all have when it comes to the point in a relationship where you have to decide whether this is the person you want, or whether it's time to move on with someone else. As my father liked to put it "Fish or Cut Bait." We all hate these moments in our lives. Especially in relationships. After all this is someone we cared enough about to invest time in, and we don't like hurting them to end it. However, it's also not worth having to sacrifice our own happiness in the process in order to stay with them. Now the reason we get to this point in a relationship are infinite. It could be anything from a major fight, to just not wanting the same things from the future. When these moments occur the first thing we have to do is usually the toughest. Which is talk about it and be honest with how we feel. Once the lines of communication are open it doesn't necessarily get easier, but it does at least allow for progress to be made. If you are unable to talk about it, well then there's your answer anyway.
Even when we know what the answer should be, we often times get stuck in our own hang ups. Fear is usually at the root of that problem It's a powerful motivator, sometimes for the better, sometimes not. We all carry around different sets of baggage from relationship to relationship. When it comes to our hang ups, as "G.I Joe" once said, knowing is half the battle. To often we try to ignore them and pretend they don't exist as long as we possibly can. But a lot of the time fear is what it boils down to. Fear of being alone, fear of the unknown, fear of not living up to others expectations of us, or even to our own.
Like with any problem in life, it's how we approach it and deal with it that define who we are and what will happen as we move forward. There's a Marine Corps solution "adapt and overcome". Though that's usually easier said than done. It seems to me that the first step is the same in most cases. Forgive yourself for what happens. We're our own toughest critics and harder on ourselves than others ever could be. We don't need to hold on as tightly to the past as we tend to do. The future may be scary, but it's a lot easier to deal with when you're not carrying the weight of the past with you. Granted like everything else it will probably be easier said than done.
That's when the wisdom of The Beatles comes in handy. "I get by with a little help from my friends." We'll just forget the next part of that and focus on this specific section. Since for legal reasons I wouldn't advise taking the other part of advice that song has. We all have our support systems. Friends are the family you choose so like with your nose, pick good ones.
With that I'll leave you with this platitude. A man walks down the street and falls into a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. A Doctor passes by and he shouts "Hey Doc, can you help me out?" The Doctor writes out a prescription and tosses it down the hole, then moves on. A priest walks by and he shouts to him "Father I'm stuck down here, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer and throws it down the hole, then moves on. Finally a friend walks by he says "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" The friend quickly jumps in the hole along with him. The man says to him "What are you doing? Are you stupid? Now we're both stuck down here." The friend says "Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out." Here's to the friends that have jumped in the hole with us.
In talking with them, a couple of issues came to light. Though the root of them both was the same. It boiled down to the difficulty we all have when it comes to the point in a relationship where you have to decide whether this is the person you want, or whether it's time to move on with someone else. As my father liked to put it "Fish or Cut Bait." We all hate these moments in our lives. Especially in relationships. After all this is someone we cared enough about to invest time in, and we don't like hurting them to end it. However, it's also not worth having to sacrifice our own happiness in the process in order to stay with them. Now the reason we get to this point in a relationship are infinite. It could be anything from a major fight, to just not wanting the same things from the future. When these moments occur the first thing we have to do is usually the toughest. Which is talk about it and be honest with how we feel. Once the lines of communication are open it doesn't necessarily get easier, but it does at least allow for progress to be made. If you are unable to talk about it, well then there's your answer anyway.
Even when we know what the answer should be, we often times get stuck in our own hang ups. Fear is usually at the root of that problem It's a powerful motivator, sometimes for the better, sometimes not. We all carry around different sets of baggage from relationship to relationship. When it comes to our hang ups, as "G.I Joe" once said, knowing is half the battle. To often we try to ignore them and pretend they don't exist as long as we possibly can. But a lot of the time fear is what it boils down to. Fear of being alone, fear of the unknown, fear of not living up to others expectations of us, or even to our own.
Like with any problem in life, it's how we approach it and deal with it that define who we are and what will happen as we move forward. There's a Marine Corps solution "adapt and overcome". Though that's usually easier said than done. It seems to me that the first step is the same in most cases. Forgive yourself for what happens. We're our own toughest critics and harder on ourselves than others ever could be. We don't need to hold on as tightly to the past as we tend to do. The future may be scary, but it's a lot easier to deal with when you're not carrying the weight of the past with you. Granted like everything else it will probably be easier said than done.
That's when the wisdom of The Beatles comes in handy. "I get by with a little help from my friends." We'll just forget the next part of that and focus on this specific section. Since for legal reasons I wouldn't advise taking the other part of advice that song has. We all have our support systems. Friends are the family you choose so like with your nose, pick good ones.
With that I'll leave you with this platitude. A man walks down the street and falls into a hole. The walls are so steep he can't get out. A Doctor passes by and he shouts "Hey Doc, can you help me out?" The Doctor writes out a prescription and tosses it down the hole, then moves on. A priest walks by and he shouts to him "Father I'm stuck down here, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer and throws it down the hole, then moves on. Finally a friend walks by he says "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" The friend quickly jumps in the hole along with him. The man says to him "What are you doing? Are you stupid? Now we're both stuck down here." The friend says "Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out." Here's to the friends that have jumped in the hole with us.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Welcome To The Big Show...........
So here it goes, my venture into the wonderful world of the blogosphere. I guess for starters I should introduce myself. I'm in my early 30's and like many other members of my generation am feeling my way through life as best I can. I'm well educated, though none of it was in English or Literature. At least not beyond that which I was required to take in order to graduate. I've never considered myself a writer. But as they say any monkey that can type can write a blog. So here I go.
I consider myself a pretty typical guy. I like sports. Mostly football, baseball, hockey and soccer. I'd probably devote this to them if there weren't already 1000 of those out there written by people who put WAY more time into this than I think I'm ready or willing to do. I may stray into the occasional complaint here and there on that topic, but hope to not do so to often. I'm a bit of a geek. I have a love for movies, music, and the outdoors. Having grown up in the Pacific Northwest I guess that last part just comes with the territory. I am comfortable out hiking for the day or taking in a show and nice dinner in the city.
As for what I want this to be. I think I'm just going to take my time and figure that one out. My intention is to write every day, but it may take longer than for inspiration to strike me at times. Though starting out I guess there won't be much pressure since no one will really be reading it. I want to talk about life, love and the things that happen to us along the way. Maybe that's to generic a starting point but I guess it'll have to do for now. I have no dreams of being a famous writer or of somehow spinning this into a book deal. Though if anyone who comes across this happens to have the hook up for a gig writing with Aaron Sorkin or Joss Whedon I'll gladly accept it. Due to the unlikely nature of that, I won't be holding my breath.
For the sake of anonymity I won't reveal my name. That may happen at some point but here at the beginning of this my plan is to have this be more a secret identity thing. Not so much for the usual reasons for a secret identity. More so that I can say what I need to and share my opinions on things without those who may no necessarily agree with my perspective tracking me down later. This way it's just a guy with a blog and no one gets their feelings hurt in the process. If you disagree with me on something feel free to let me know. I'm always up for a good debate.
I welcome input along the way as well as questions. After all that's the entire point of this format is the interaction portion of the program. So I look forward to that. Once someone actually reads this that is. Until the next time.
I consider myself a pretty typical guy. I like sports. Mostly football, baseball, hockey and soccer. I'd probably devote this to them if there weren't already 1000 of those out there written by people who put WAY more time into this than I think I'm ready or willing to do. I may stray into the occasional complaint here and there on that topic, but hope to not do so to often. I'm a bit of a geek. I have a love for movies, music, and the outdoors. Having grown up in the Pacific Northwest I guess that last part just comes with the territory. I am comfortable out hiking for the day or taking in a show and nice dinner in the city.
As for what I want this to be. I think I'm just going to take my time and figure that one out. My intention is to write every day, but it may take longer than for inspiration to strike me at times. Though starting out I guess there won't be much pressure since no one will really be reading it. I want to talk about life, love and the things that happen to us along the way. Maybe that's to generic a starting point but I guess it'll have to do for now. I have no dreams of being a famous writer or of somehow spinning this into a book deal. Though if anyone who comes across this happens to have the hook up for a gig writing with Aaron Sorkin or Joss Whedon I'll gladly accept it. Due to the unlikely nature of that, I won't be holding my breath.
For the sake of anonymity I won't reveal my name. That may happen at some point but here at the beginning of this my plan is to have this be more a secret identity thing. Not so much for the usual reasons for a secret identity. More so that I can say what I need to and share my opinions on things without those who may no necessarily agree with my perspective tracking me down later. This way it's just a guy with a blog and no one gets their feelings hurt in the process. If you disagree with me on something feel free to let me know. I'm always up for a good debate.
I welcome input along the way as well as questions. After all that's the entire point of this format is the interaction portion of the program. So I look forward to that. Once someone actually reads this that is. Until the next time.
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